Embarrassing moments, scary blackouts, and disjointed intimacy – it’s all in here. Knapp proves herself to be a functioning alcoholic: able to still keep her career moving forward though her personal life suffers immensely. Eventually, Knapp recognizes she needs help and checks into rehab.
The order of stories feel a bit disorganized but it doesn’t detract from the amazingly analytical nature of the book. The author is able to examine her behavior with microscopic precision, which is probably what aided her in eventually coming to successful sobriety.
“The need is more than merely physical: it’s psychic and visceral and multilayered. There’s a dark fear to the feeling of wanting that wine, that vodka, that bourbon: a hungry, abiding fear of being without, being exposed, without your armor.” (pg. 58)
“This is such a common sensation to a drinker. My friend Meg says she felt like the ‘real’ her was trapped somewhere inside, locked up in a cage beneath her ribs. When she drank, that version was freed.” (pg. 67)
“[A] true alcoholic is someone who’s turned from a cucumber into a pickle; you can try to stop a cucumber from turning into a pickle, but there’s no way you can turn a pickle back into a cucumber.” (pg. 129)